Offensive Conduct: My Life on the Line

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I really enjoyed looking into the stories of these players and how God used them and has been using them since the end of their careers. It is time to start the same series for this year and I will since New England is hosting tonights game, it seemed like a good place to start for the throwback Thursday series. His list of accolades are impressive.

Offensive Conduct

He was inducted in the Pro Football Hall of Fame in and has had his 73 jersey retired by the Patriots. In all, it is a very impressive list of accomplishments, one that would make anyone proud. However, as you can read in this article from sbNation. The motivation was basically to glorify myself. I wish I had played realizing that I wanted to give the glory to God.

Hannah shares his thoughts and stories from his career in a book he co-wrote. Offensive Conduct : My Life on the Line. Yes I thank God for football, for giving me the talent to play the greatest game that was ever created. I want to thank God for all the people who he has brought into my life and the lessons they taught. I want to thank God for a family which really understands the meaning of the family and tries to live their lives accordingly.

Hannah helped Croyle start this ministry 42 years ago. Along came a college teammate, John Hannah, who gave Croyle his first NFL signing bonus to help fund the start of the ranch. After his career, Hannah has said that his one regret was playing for himself and not to glorify God. But when it is more subtle, then I would certainly include it among passive-aggressive behaviors. America first. There is nothing passive-aggressive about this case. Your room-mate and you are sitting watching a television show. Your room mate is eating pasta with tomato sauce on a plate.

He or she then says 'wow, I think the tomato sauce has garlic in it, even though it was supposed to be plain'. If the plate was previously used for garlic bread and you were supposed to clean it, then this sarcastic remark is a form of passive-aggressive behavior. It is subtle, and requires some interpretation on your part. Furthermore, it is intended to make you aware that you haven't done the dishes, as you promised. The thing that I remember is when your boss tells you that's "very good" but "not as good as To have "very good" and "not good" in the same phrase make you say that it's passive-aggressive while in 'reality' he's just trying to encourage you and make you improve while citing that it can be done and gives the example of another employee; it's your boss that's his job!?

Maybe he just didn't have the perfect words and didn't mean to hurt you whatsoever!? Let's say you sit with him and tell him how you feel he's your boss he will listened to your concerns right? He might tell you that he didn't intended that way! We all have flaws and will never be perfect.

We are social beings and we all need the help of others to achieve things, to improve, to compare ourselves and to better ourselves! That's what competition is all about!! It's in work and sports! You can't get away from it!


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I think that often people see others too negatively. Or they feel bad about themselves or think they're not good enough or they struggle in a competitive environment and put the blames on the superior ones I felt good that I was on the right track and understood that I shouldn't stop there and improve myself. Later my boss was so impressed with my work that he said that I was his best employee! He just did his job and I did mine. Imagine if I would have think that he's passive aggressive what would have happened to me? I'd feel bad and not up to the task. I'd complaint that my boss he's not nice and ask to be transferred and face another boss who could be even harsher!!

To resume it, my answer to my boss saying that phrase was: "Thank you sir, I'll do better next time! And I did and it paid off. I got two promotions in 3 months!! I felt really good with myself and I felt happy for my boss and the company's achievements! Try this then. Same scenario but no matter how hard you try and how perfect you are or achieve your boss still acts the same AND no promotions yet someone else less capable than yourself gets the promotion you busted your ass for and that you deserve? I am glad your efforts were rewarded in your situation but I think you missed the point on PA.

It hurt my feelings. If the person does it again, particularly after a long time has passed, I usually consider it an "oops". He or she just forgot. If he does it a third time, I become suspicious. I have already made it clear, twice, that that particular thing hurts my feelings. So maybe it is deliberate. If it happens yet again, then I feel confident that that particular behavior or comment is indeed deliberate, and malicious. This person wants to hurt my feelings and knows that particular thing is the best way to do it.

In which case, I generally drop them if it's possible. Repetitive PA behavior is not the behavior of a friend; someone who does that over and over wants to hurt me. That is not someone I want to be around. It's much more difficult to drop a passive aggressive-person if the individual is your coworker or relative, though. I've read that a passive -aggressive personality style of relating to others is one of if not THE most difficult relational styles to treat successfully, and that if you find that you are dating a passive-aggressive kind of person the best thing to do is RUN.

Particularly if the PA acts are followed by gaslighting, as in, "What are you talking about? I think one of the main reasons for the PA behavior is to make the other to behave in a desired way rather than just hurting one's feeling. The latter hurting the feeling by way of PA treatment, behavior is to mold the other person to their own desired behavior. If they don't desire to behave in the PA person's way, PA's behavior to intimidate, manipulate coerces the other person to their desired behavior.

These are emotional abusers. Who cares where they fall on the spectrum Yes yes yes yes yes RUN. While a lot of what you say here is valuable, I feel you are being very simplistic in your analysis of why someone acts in passive-aggressive ways and what to do about it.

In my experience someone may employ these tactics because they have a deep anger they are unable to acknowledge. This anger may be justified and valid and need to be addressed. The person may engage in passive aggressive behaviour because their attempts to express their own needs or their anger have not been heard. So your suggestion that you should just ignore passive aggressive behaviour does not seem helpful to me. In fact, in situations where someone close to you is engaging in these behaviours seems potentially damaging.

I think gently trying to uncover the deeper feelings of alienation or anger beneath the passive aggression would be more positive. Passive aggression by its name seems to be aggression that has "gone underground", rather than a method of emotional manipulation which your analysis here suggests. By the way I read and enjoyed your book about love Many thanks Deborah.

I agree with you entirely if the person who's being targeted by passive-aggressive actions is THE one person who commits acts of violence which causes the anger in the person exhibiting passive-aggressive behavior. However, I think it's unlikely that 1 the person-object of passive-aggression is the cause of the anger i. In my experience, if you're the object of the disguised aggressiveness, your first need is to protect yourself, and if you were raised to be a codependent, you'll think of helping the passive aggressive person first.

That's a very dangerous way, I really wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I am glad you mentioned the WIN-lose mentality.. That's at least my take of it. The "win-lose mentality" presumably refers to the proclivity to see exchanges as a zero-sum competitions. Such an agonistic ethos is typical of the male of the species, who is also more prone to conflict "aggression". However, I doubt that men are more 'narcissistic' then women. Whatever that means. Are we going by Kernberg's or Kohut's conception and evaluation?

There is also a just-unjust "mentality' expectation of fairness that occasions indignation "aggression" when disappointed and may lead to passive-aggressive tactics. Passive-aggression is itself meaningless absent certain social expectations of reciprocity and solidarity. It is therefor fundamentally a question of justice, and only secondarily of aggression. From a Kantian perspective any behavior that attempts to get someone to do something without directly appealing to his rationally autonomous agency can be considered manipulative.

If ignoring someone who has displeased one is manipulative, then so is putting a misbehaving child in time-out. I don't see where the constraint in usage could come from. Being "unable" to acknowledge suggests that the overt expression of resentment is a viable solution. But the social-professional sphere is not a therapeutic one that rewards confrontation and the exposure of anger. So being unable to express aggression is not just an incapacity but an unpreparedness to risk expressing it given the consequences.

The inability may perfectly reflect the impermissibility of direct expression. Passive aggression, especially the silent treatment and other 'sins of omission,' may be the only option in certain situations, allowing the individual to save face while making known his displeasure. It may also be the case that the individual realizes the futility of overt criticism and confrontation in long-term relationships. So instead of engaging in that behavior, they just withdraw for a period. But this is only passive-aggressive if putting someone in a 'time out' is.

As is usual with psychological explanations of motivation, the assumption is that the behavior is not under the individual's control, and that his expression is blocked for reasons that lie within him, rather than being dictated by the social situation. This is obviously not always or essentially the case. By the criteria laid out here, avoiding anyone is a form of passive aggression.

Personally, I prefer the 'non-scientific' expression "to spurn" as it better reflects the decision to wash one's hands of an inferior.

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The tactics listed as passive-aggressive are the socially acceptable ways of failing to meet social expectations. I agree with you.. I believe I have this and I'm not being this way on purpose. I don't need to be ignored.

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I need understanding and support to get this figured out. Not people to run from me.. My wife makes me like a bad person, but I'm one of the nicest people you can meet. Passive-aggressiv forceful conduct is the roundabout articulation of antagonistic vibe, for example, through stalling, mockery, threatening jokes, stiff necked attitude, disdain, moroseness, or consider or rehashed inability to finish asked for assignments for which one is frequently expressly mindful.

Very interesting article, and rings very true in my experience. I was raised by a highly passive aggressive mother and my siblings and I all inherited the trait some more so than others. So I've experienced it from both ends. I didn't know that till I was an adult, though Like the article said there was this the inexplicable feeling of having my personality oppressed growing up even though my parents rarely punished and never yelled and were always civil.

Yet I had friend's who's parents screamed and yelled and lashed out with insults who seemed cocky and fearless, the opposite of me. I never understood why, till recently. Mindfulness will keep you focused in the moment, so you can deal directly in an adult way politely but firmly assertive with whatever it is that is making you upset, hurt or angry IN THAT MOMENT Instead of just silently seething and resorting to covert or indirectly hostile, PA, revenge type behaviors later. I am so glad I came across this. This explains me to the t. I suffer from this because of jealousy and envy.

Specifically with members of my family. Certain people rub me the wrong way. And they notice when they're happening. What can help? Thank you for writing. I've only just come to this realization myself.

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My mother is PA. I didn't realize I was until recently. Hopefully now that I know what to work on it will be possible to change. As someone who is passive aggressive yup, I'll own it , the easiest way to deflate my attempts is to ignore it. Depending on the circumstance like being angry at a friend and doing a couple PA things to blow off steam for a day, like ignoring all texts even though you know I saw them , bringing attention is the best way to hurt me.

I grew up in an environmentally volatile house with WASP tendencies. Subtly was taught as a first recourse because if you said something outright, you were yelled at for a long time, while PA remarks were used as a polite way of telling someone you disapproved. In the first sentence you said the best way to delfate you is to ignore you.

The most effective way to deal with passive-aggression.

Then you say bringing attention is the best way to hurt you. Can you explain the different circumstances and which is the best time to do which? And - according to THEM - it does help them. When done humorously, it is also a good method to diffuse their fears and learned helplessness. Sometimes people are sullen because someone died. Sometimes they're sullen because they're poor and rich people keep them that way. Sometimes they're sullen because they've lost a child.

Sometimes they're sullen because they are constant victims of racism. Sometimes they're sullen because all college did was promote them to slightly less than middle class instead of only being able to get minimum wage, when minimum wage is a slow death sentence and now they're forced to work for rich assholes who expect them to smile while giving them shit pay. That doesn't mean they're passive aggressive, and it's a bit narcissistic to take that personally - "ugh, get away from me you sad sullen person" - is what someone born with a silver spoon and privilege will say.

How unsightly!


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  • A gross sullen person. Remove them from my view at once. Being sullen also doesn't mean someone will do a worse job than someone else. They might even do it better. People shouldn't be expected to smile every time one of the Bobs makes a joke. Sometimes people are sad, for all kinds of reasons, and it is taken as sullenness because the ambient culture has decided that the only acceptable way to be is bright and cheerful. And sometimes people are justifiably angry, but again it is socially unacceptable to express that openly, because to do so would upset the professionals, the powerful, and others who are not carrying those burdens.

    And the answer to this is not to "fix" the person with therapy, techniques or putting them in their place by ignoring them - because when a person has reason to be sad or angry and IS sad or angry, then their emotions are entirely sane and appropriate. And sometimes the person reacting to the "sullen" person does not want to be around them because it makes them sullen too, not because they're a rich narcissist.

    Everybody has times when they're sullen, but all the time? Yes, stay away from me, you're making ME depressed, especially when I'm trying to be positive and encouraging. And by the way, I am far from rich. If I were wealthier and more successful and I do agree with your last sentence , I could probably take people's foul moods a lot easier. But someone needs to help them stop being depressed. If you procrastinate helping people like this out, you are showing typical passive aggression.

    Do you see what I did there? This complete lack of precision in psychology is one of the major reasons I cannot consider it anywhere near a mature science. You can construe some research on personality to claim everyone is sick. Researchers may benefit from the impact score of passing their citations around and demanding more funding using this 'the sky is falling' strategy in the short run, but it gives people excuses to discriminate against people who may be suffering from something they don't control and destroys the credibility of the science with extremely high retraction rates for published research.

    Based on your response, if you were wealthier you would simply pay to push depressed people around until they went away. Expecting a depressed person to fake happiness to make you comfortable is so self centered it is borderline sociopathic. I see this behavior surrounding situations that lead to shootings and suicides. Barked at the wrong tree? Shown how passive aggression works? I think all of us here already know how it works, thanks. It IS more difficult to be kind and positive when has worries and troubles of one's own; it takes more mental effort and character fortitude to dismiss our own troubles in order to be positive.

    So, it is perfectly understandable that it IS considerably easier for a person with no financial worries - which, understandably, take a LOT of "real estate" in the mind - to make the mental space needed to be kind and cheery and positive. Just like people tend to be far more generous when they are feeling good about themselves. Lastly, Celeste and others like her are under no obligation to help the "sullen" ones. Their first and foremost obligation is to help themselves; and the same goes for those who are, for whatever reason, in a bad state. By being kind and positive people like Celeste are already doing the most anyone can do to help - not that the "sullen" ones ever appreciate it or make use of it.

    No: miserable are only "happy" when they can spread their misery. I've cut such people out of my life. Misery is an infectious disease, and I have the right and the responsibility to take care of myself. Not every unhappy facial expression is "sullen". Also, while it is true that, in principle, PA people don't necessarily do a worse job than everything else, they most certainly do affect the working environment and make it far more difficult to everyone else to do their job joyfully and efficiently.

    Finally, people who are inclined to be sullen because of resentment - because they are "poor", while others are "rich" - thereby show that they aren't really problem-solving minds. How is resenting others and walking around with a long face going to help them to improve their situation? I can understand depression, sadness, tiredness. But one can still be kind, no matter what. Kindness really does pay - not least because it is its own reward. I agree totally with everything you say that there are a lot of reasons why people are sullen or sad.

    Also, introverted people tend to be quieter and not as animated as extroverts; and why should a person be expected to laugh because everyone else is? PA can be so covert even the most intelligent person can be fooled by it. For example, there is a work colleague who laughs at everyone's jokes, agrees with everybody and is very accommodating verbally especially with the manager but she hardly ever does what the manager asks, refusing outright to do some tasks that everyone in the team has to do by playing to people's emotions.

    This is passive-aggressive behaviour. I could be wrong but I think that the article was addressing passive-aggressive behaviors directed more at a specific individual than a case of general, chronic unhappiness, anger and resentment. And, I don't agree that grief over the death of a loved one is the same thing as sullenness. Sullenness is more about resentment, anger, contempt, or feeling disrespected, rather than grief.

    If you have chronic feelings of resentment, if you are feeling disrespected, like you've been cheated or lied to, that can build up into seething rage and it's not healthy for you or those around you. I hope you will talk to a counselor or therapist if you are feeling chronic sullen resentment as you described, so that you can resolve the issues making you feel that way and have a happier life.

    Life on the Line – John Hannah G New England Patriots | Heroes in the Game | Heroes in Life

    Bravo for an excellent PA response to the poster's pain! I don't agree with your interpretation of the poster's post re their remark being passive aggressive. I see it as being concerned and offering a suggestion. I hope you don't believe that if you disagree with someone's statement that I am not expected to say, "Oh yes THAT would be passive aggression!!! I feel with this on a daily basis. Oh God!!! Another reason you may be feeling intense grief after the end of a relationship—even an abusive one—is not only will you need to grapple with the loss of a partner even if a shitty one , you also need to figure out what your new identity will be without this person in your life.

    You need to get over, not only the loss of a relationship, but also the loss of your previous life and your previous self. In these situations, I change identifying details. Certain details, like a unique physical trait combined with a sport or interest could be enough to identify the client. Therefore, I change those types of details as well. If you can anticipate the emotional course before you arrive, think of new ways to delay it. What other than the game on TV can sidetrack antagonists before the dynamic kicks in? Aim to engage the family member who initiates toxic relating.